Archive for the dogs Category

all night long

Posted in dogs, humor, music on June 15, 2009 by finerstacy

Hey Folks,

Finer has been out and about.  Chicago was great!  Got to play for an energized crowd at the Bird’s Nest including some family who flew in from NY to check out the show.  Nothing like having grown ups take over the road crew position and basically headbutt people on the way out of the club to get the gear into the truck.

We drove up from Indy and got in a quick game of kick ball with one of my nephews and got pounced playing air hockey.   Richard the drummer was a masterful kick ball player but even his fancy hands could not out wit a skilled youth in this game of precision and patience.  Ethan was a dynamo on the field, scoring left and right and catching air born balls like he was yawning after a long hard day of work.   John proved that sax men can throw, but aiming a kick…not so much.  Me on the other hand, I was watching the ball fly by in slow motion most of the time and managed one run.  Ah the smell of defeat is so sweet.   All of this was happening as while we were being circled by two of the most beautiful bulldogs you have ever seen.  They even watched Hotel for Dogs with us and went crazy every time another dog barked on screen.   If this rock star thing doesn’t work out we can always open the Finer Movie Theater for Dogs.

We played Claude and Annie’s on Thursday and loved the bar. The servers are great and even the Yuker players grooved along with the band.

On to a new week and new gigs.  We are psyched for the To Write Love On Her Arms benefit on Thursday!

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Scary movies ARE funny

Posted in dogs, guitar, humor, music, musical equipment, pedals, rock, songwriting on April 12, 2009 by finerstacy

Whoopi Goldberg is funny.  Whoopi Goldberg is very funny.  Sister act one is funny.  Sister act 2 is also entertaining and we were introduced to the beautiful vocal stylings of Lauyrn Hill.  Cape Fear is not funny and here in lines the problem.   Since the age of eight I have experienced at least seven fainting spells due to film content.  Now I am not against scary movies.  I applaud the creative minds of the folks who work on them.  But if you really want to be my friend we’ll stick to Bambi and call it a day.  Oh wait.  The mother dies in that one.  Right?  Okay the Lion King, no no how about Ice Age 1,2 or 3.  Well the world ends in each of those so let’s play some jacks and eat some pie.

Here’s how the routine began.  The first film was Lords of the Discipline  in which  a young man goes to military school.  At one point several cadets basically torture another cadet. Fun huh?  I say “Mom I don’t feel so good” and I’m out like a light.  Now to be fair,  I had a major tobogganing accident earlier that day and don’t remember if I hit my head or not.   My cousin however did twist her ankle so we had already been to the hospital and knew how to get there fast.  The doctors felt that it was psychosomatic and sent me home in the morning.  I do know that when I faint I look dead and when I wake up everyone around me is either flipping out or sitting in nearby chair holding their hearts.   Again very amusing.  At least for me it is.

The next two I remember were Freddy Returns and White wolves.   Freddy was on a Friday night and ninth grade student council elections were that  Monday morning.  I went and passed out in the bathroom.  Nobody even knew I was gone.  I also vomited and  when I returned to my seat, my friend/biggest opponent Matt offered me his soda.  Note to self.  No need to resort to horror movie violence.  Keep your friend close and your enemy closer.  So close that your puke stained breath insures election day victory.

Now I know what you are thinking.  Isn’t White Wolves a Disney movie featuring Zack from Saved By The Bell?  I don’t discriminate.  All movie studios are created equally.  This one was two days before a big camping trip. I looked at my closest friend/enemy and said “I don’t feel so good” and went to that place that dogs go when you rub their tummy.  It feels pretty warm and woozy when I’m coming out of it.  I get a squint infused smile and I remember what happened.   I am assuming that Benji feels slightly the same thing.  “Remember what just happened a minute ago boy?  You saved that old lady.”  Not that fainting is heroic, but who doesn’t want to be compared to Benji?  Again the doctors concluded that it was all in my head.  Surprisingly the dad in the movie who falls off the cliff survives and they all live happily ever after.  Nobody told me that before hand.

Finally, we are back to Whoopi Goldberg.  Good old Whoopi driving her bus around the country.  I’ve always enjoyed her stand up but this time I was fooled.  We were a bunch of horny sixteen year olds having a coed sleep over at a friends house.  3o or so sleeping bags were on top of each other.  We’re watching  Sister Act, eating popcorn hoping to see one of the boys come out the shower in a towel.  I fell asleep during one of the musical numbers.  I was happy.  I was free. I was safe.  I woke up to Nick Nolte and Robert Dinero having a party that I did not want to be invited to.  My friend Lori said “Are you okay?” And I was out.  Actually, first I yelled at her and then I was out.  Very nice of me right?  My eyes focused in on my friend Jeff  saying “Baz! Baz! Are you okay?”  My friend’s mother was sitting on the floor next to me.  I felt horrible.  This woman had already done so much allowing us the crash at her house and now here I was doing my best Sleeping Beauty keeping her awake in the middle of the night.

I decided right then and there that I would be so vigilant about my film intake that even Saturday morning cartoons were suspect.  I was going to be more choosy about whose floor I landed on.  So picky in fact that the next place I fainted was a medical clinic on Melrose Avenue after getting a TB shot at the beginning of a school year to work at an elementary school.  I waited one hour for it to be my turn.  I warned the nurse that I  hate giving blood, getting blood, taking shots and that its the same affect as watching Freddy Kruger getting ready for the weekend.  She said you better not faint here.   And so I woke up to a bunch of doctors standing over me.   They said “We didn’t move you because we didn’t want to write up a medical report.  Please don’t sue.  This must all be in your head.”  An hour later I got off of the floor, walked out of the room to an entire hallway filled all the way back to the entrance with families  waiting for their TB shots.  Now that’s funny.

out with the old

Posted in dogs, guitar, humor, music, musical equipment, pedals, rock, songwriting on April 8, 2009 by finerstacy

Letting go of the past is easy…for no one.  Even when you get a better house, a better friend, a better dog it’s never easy.  Did I mention we had a dog for one whole day? Her name was Bella and boy was she beautiful except when she was peeing in our bedroom, living room, and practice room.  She’d sit at the entrance way and pretend to be digging the tunes just long enough for us to look away and then she’d have at it.  I was like really? Is my  guitar soloing that relaxing or  are you letting me know I have to clean up my right hand technique?  Her bladder problem was not the reason for her departure.   Actually, we would have gladly put up with it for a lifetime.  But watching Ethan’s head blow up was only momentarily funny.  His eyes puffing out and his nose running for about 24 hours straight was where we had to draw the line of salty tears. We were seriously thinking of keeping her and letting him suffer for the next 10-15 years.  We spent our food budget buying her toys and a new bowl.  But 3 boxes of tissues later we gave the dog back to our neighbor who houses Bella’s mother, sisters and brothers.  The animal gods were teasing us a bit  as we were able to see her running around the neighbor’s yard.  For Ethan it was like watching his best friend move to another town and not be able to play hoops after school any more. After a few weeks she was gone.  A younger and hipper couple took her in.  But, we couldn’t seem to  shake this beautiful dog.  We got a call that she was running around about 5 miles from us.   I guess the new owners forgot to put new tags on their new dog.  So I went to pick her up thinking “that’s right she knows who mommy is.”  Bella was so happy to see me that she peed in my car.  I thought the universe was bringing her back to us, but I think Bella was just reminding us that we were the ones who got the shaft.  Her new goldmine was in a cooler part of town and she wanted us to see her new place.  So as I am retooling my pedal board and trying to let go some of pedals that have been in my rig for over 8 years I can’t help but thinking that they are laughing at me. Chorusingly singing “Stacy, you think you are so cool buying your used boutique pedals” but who was there for you, when the word chorus still meant a high school singing group huh?  Who helped you trick everyone into thinking you knew what the effects were being used on old Police records?  And who gave you something to step on when no one else was watching you play? That’s right it was us, your old standbys.  And guess what?  We’re going to make some other kid happy and give some other kid hours of entertainment with our waves of altering pitch and slap backing tones.”  Okay Bella.  I hear you.  You’ll always be my first.