Archive for the basketball Category

Homegrown Macgruber

Posted in basketball, humor, music, Uncategorized on May 25, 2010 by finerstacy

Friday night I went to see MacGruber.  Yes, I was one of the ticket holders contributing to the whopping $1.5 million dollar opening night. I really did enjoy it.  I enjoyed Will Forte singing on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon as he lead The Roots in a rocking romp version of the theme song with his real life mother looking on in a nice combination of horror and admiration.  I hope I get to see my future kids just going for it.  So as I watched the movie and laughed at prank after homemade prank,  I had a nice combination of horror and admiration myself.  Admiration for our true fallen heroes that we will be celebrating this weekend and horror for my childhood homemade concoctions that left my family in tears.

For instance, around age 5 my folks put brand new pink carpet in my room which lined up with my teenage brother receiving a hobby car kit.   Now I thought, “Why can’t I enjoy being a girly, girl  and make a model car on the pink carpet, without any newspaper underneath?”   Why can’t I leave a 1 foot black mark in  the middle of the carpet that would remain for the next 10 years just to show that I could be a tomboy and pretty?  Well, I could and I did.  It was a very charming gesture of me to do to my parents.

That same year, I felt it necessary to put my newest drawings on the spanking new wall paper with toothpaste.  My artwork was fantastic.  White paper with red marker…very daring and now it had a home.  At least for a moment because nobody told me that toothpaste was not an adhesive.  Oh well, my Mona Lisa would have to stay on the shelf.    I didn’t get in too much trouble for this one as someone, I am not naming names,  but it starts with a” b” and ends with “rother”, took a sharpie and went from the top of the stairs to the bottom by drawing a straight line down the middle of the wall.  It really framed the room and gave our guests  something different to look at.

Now, I am not trying to tell you that I was a deviant child, quite the contrary.  I was helpful and always trying to please, but sometimes made poor choices with my artistic creativity.  So I knew I had to focus my energy elsewhere until I got that sorted out.   So I went the helpful route, like loading the dishes in  my college kitchen with laundry detergent instead of dish detergent.  It was a great incentive to clean the whole room, because the entire floor  filled with bubbles up to my shins.  The kitchen was Arm and Hammer fresh and so were the looks on my roommates faces.

I believe those misguided days are behind me.  I do a great job as band leader making late night tacos after gigs, bringing snacks when the guys are heading to gigs from school with no time for a meal.  But as a newly anointed Hoosier, I still catch that old feeling  once in while like when I unknowingly told a family from Detroit that I believed that Ron Artest got the shaft and way too much blame for that NBA debacle.  I assumed they were from Indy.   But hey at least I was telling the truth and there were no suds on the floor.

Finer will be at Birdy’s this Thursday night  May 27th @ 10pm.  Be there or risk  your glue being switched out for toothpaste.


Bulldogs can dance

Posted in basketball, music, soccer on April 6, 2010 by finerstacy

I am not an athlete, but I was so proud to be a Hoosier last night.  The Butler bulldogs were incredible.  Duke was great also.  Yes, they came out on top but I love a team that doesn’t give up.  There was not one moment on the floor last night when Butler ever looked defeated, bored, or ungrateful.  They just played ball all night. Nothing phased them. Yes, the game got physical, but there was never any “I deserve this” attitude.  It was more of a “let’s get this done!” type of game.  I am sure it stings like bee right now and their hearts are hurting, but the whole state and country is still in awe of their poise, grace and yes competitive side.  Thanks for a great run Bulldogs!

Now, every time I have seen a bulldog hat here in Indiana I have done a double take.  My town Hewlett,  where the Hewlett High school bulldogs reign has a great tradition of high quality basketball  teams, football teams,  and soccer teams.  Actually one of my brothers played on the state championship team for soccer.  So somewhere in the back of my mind,  I always felt I had a shot to be in it, to be competitive.  I saw videos of Pele floating on the field.  He made it look fun and easy.  I would jump over the ball and think if Pele can do that, so can I!  I would do one move over and over and say “Hey, watch my Pele move,” even though I had never seen him do it nor did I know whether the move was effective. I just knew it was fun, felt good and kind of made me look like I knew what I was doing.  I would practice in the yard, do drills, run sprints, and had a great growl.   If you listen closely enough you can still hear the echo of my grunts as a much better player out scored me.  “That will teach her!  If I make noises maybe that goal won’t count!”  In elementary school every Saturday was like an adventure to the same three fields where are our parents would cheer us on, teammates would critique each others shin guards and we would enjoy our post game victory/loss at Mc Donalds.    One weekend we were playing at the number 6 school field and I was lucky enough to be in goal.  Really, they put the shortest, smallest, least coordinated kid in as the  goal tender.  It must of been the growl, very deceiving during the selection and coaching process.  It had such a ring to  it that I think it might have made me vibrate and “look” bigger and stronger.   So there I was about 4’1, stylish shorts, flowing locks of stick straight hair and eyes like a hawk. I actually had great focus so I knew when danger was coming, I could sense it like a fox.  That moment before the eagle swoops in to claims his fish, I could see it a mile away.  So when a girl was coming left, I would always go right, because she was just tricking me…right?  Or when a ball was high in the air I would a do football kick off return fair catch signal as if that was going to help dissuade our competitors from moving in.  I did really try, I guarded the goal like that hawk.  Every inch of it mine, the net,  the white chalked dirt lines and the bars, all mine.  Oh yes the bars where mine.  They were so much mine in fact that when I did  finally get a great save, I hugged the ball and did the best punt return kick ever! The ball went straight up in the air, not out, but up and hit the bar, went over my head and scored a goal for  the other team.   I saw all of the parents hands hold their heads in disbelief like a stop motion scene from The Fantastic Mr. Fox.   One group  “Oh!”  came out as the ball  made it’s home in my home.  The referee was too kind and didn’t count it as a goal.  Maybe he was scared of my growl, maybe it was because I had openly had a crush on him all season.  Either way  I still remember that slow motion feeling of   extending my leg, the ball leaving my foot,  entering the air and thinking “Wow! This is awesome!  I can be a champion and have winged bangs, all at the same time!”    But as the ball hit the floor and splashed its way through out the  net,  Only one thought came to mind,  Hey I really do look like Pele doing that!  Hey we all have to start somewhere.

Come see Finer at Birdy’s next week.   No soccer balls will be hurt or mishandled during the show.